Be Your Own Boss: My Experience

Now that I'm in my forties, I’m discovering a deeper awareness of my actual needs, desires, and goals. I can’t help but wonder why I didn’t realize this sooner.

One reason for my situation is that I spent a long time living in a shared household with my husband, child, and mother. My mother has a strong personality but carries many fears, which she tends to project onto all of us. Although I know she loves me, she often imposes her ideas and values—shaped by her fears—on the entire family. When we finally decided to live separately, I began to thrive.

So, why didn’t we separate sooner? The main hurdle was financial. We were renting out our apartment, and it wasn't until our finances improved that we could separate. Now, my mother lives in one apartment, while my husband, daughter, and I live in another. Since the separation, our relationships have greatly improved, allowing each of us to live according to our own needs.

The second part of the answer is that I didn't know how to say NO to my bosses. I always agreed to additional tasks in fear of losing my job. Do I need to emphasize that this fear was one in a series that I "received as a gift" from my mother? :)

I’ve learned to say “NO” to extra work responsibilities when I’m overwhelmed. I don’t do this every time, but when I have too much on my plate, I calmly explain to my boss that I can’t take on more tasks. It’s crucial to communicate clearly when declining new assignments. Rather than making excuses, I focus on explaining that it’s not about being unwilling to work; I simply have too much to manage already.

Taking control of my life and feeling like my own boss 😉 has meant doing a few key things:

1. Communication - Providing Clear Answers 

When someone requests something from me, I aim for clear communication. If I can fulfill their request, I specify a timeline that fits my commitments. 

When I cannot meet someone's expectations, I address it directly with a clear response. Using phrases like "I'll see," "maybe," or "I'll try, but I'm not sure" introduces uncertainty and creates ambiguity for both parties.

2. Power of Choosing

I consistently pursue what I want and remind myself that I control my choices. For example, I hired a renovation crew while updating an apartment. Unfortunately, they either didn’t fully understand my vision or couldn’t bring it to life as I imagined. Refusing to settle, I continued searching until I found a team that grasped my expectations. I wanted the final result to align with my vision rather than compromise on something that didn’t match my ideas.

I had a similar experience with hairdressers. I tried several different stylists before finally finding one who could lighten my hair to the shade I desired.

While this approach might take extra time and effort, it brings me great satisfaction—the assurance that I am making decisions for myself and that I am my own boss. 😊

3. Time Management

This topic is broad and significant, deserving more attention than just a few paragraphs. Nevertheless, I can't overlook it. Time management is one of life's most challenging aspects in our busy world.

The key point to understand is that on any given day, week, or even month, some obligations must take priority over others. It’s perfectly fine to set aside less urgent tasks for a while. Stay focused on your priorities and make sure that essential tasks are completed.

A well-organized to-do list can be incredibly helpful in managing your time effectively (you can read more about this in the topic "How to Write a To-Do List That Works for You"). Effectively managing your time will make you like a boss.😊

4. Taking Responsibility for Your Actions

I have come to understand a simple yet profound truth: if I do not take responsibility for my own actions, I will never progress in life.

It’s perfectly fine to lean on others during our challenges, but remember that true fulfillment comes from within. Embracing responsibility for our actions is a powerful step toward personal growth.

And you will feel like a boss, too.😊